Theatre of the Damned

“Why would the new theatre give us seven complimentary tickets for the grand opening?” Linda inquired, “What makes us so special?”

“Why question a good thing?” Gerald grumbled, “I don’t have much in life to look forward to. My health is deteriorating. So, why don’t we invite 5 of our closest friends.”

They were greeted by a pale man, with a thin mustache. He was stuffed into a starched suit that appeared to be a couple sizes too small for him. “Welcome. I am Percy. Are you ready for your complimentary tour?”

“Wow, you’ve got VIP treatment!” Eddie winked at Linda.

“It’s so hot in here,” Linda complained, “And it looks like a dungeon!”

“Shut up, woman!” Gerald replied.

“I think it’s very nice,” Veronica responded.

The guests sat down for their meal.

A tall, thin man with bloodshot eyes served them a tray full of Chinese food.

“Ugh, Chinese food!” Gerald complained.

“Hey, you can’t beat a free lunch,” Walter replied.

Sheila cracked open her fortune cookie. “This is quite an ominous message. It says…”

The waiter with the bloodshot eyes approached them. “Please do not read your fortune out loud. You will be acting out your fortunes on stage. Whoever does the best interpretation will win a prize.”

“That sounds like fun!” Victoria clapped her hands.

Gerald went on stage, and did an interpretation of driving off a bridge, after hitting a patch of ice.

Linda did her impression of getting trapped in an elevator that floods with water.

Eddie did his interpretation of  falling off an escalator, while shopping at the mall.

Veronica acted out a head-on collision with a semi that occurred on the highway.

Walter did his impression of dying of rabies.

Sheila did her impression of dying of Ebola.

Victoria did her impression of bleeding to death from a botched abortion.

The pale man in the starched suit approached them. “You all did a great job! Congratulations, now you all know how you’re going to die!”

He looked at the bewildered crowd, and gave each of them a grim smile. “I’m going to give each of you a prize.”

He handed each of the 7 contestants a tiny slip of paper that was folded in half.

Linda unfolded her piece of paper. “What does this mean? 3:33 a.m.?”

“That’s what time you’re going to die,” the pale man in the starched suit, replied.

Linda stood frozen in shock. The other six guests dropped their slips of paper, and ran out of the building. marco-bianchetti-532558-unsplash (1)











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