Graffiti From the Middle-Ages

Did you ever wonder what graffiti looked like in the middle-ages? Here is my interpretation.

  • Meet Susie behind the maypole. She’ll give you a green gown. (sex)
  • Meet me tonight around midnight in the hayloft of Walter’s farm. We’ll play Nug-a-Nug. (sex)
  • This parlor is reserved for shooting twixt wind, and water. Take thee ale elsewhere.
  • Thou rides below the crupper. (anal sex)
  • Get your corn ground in Janice’s field. (sex)
  • Thou makes butter with one’s tail. (sex)
  • Grope for a trout in this river. (sex)
  • Thou takes turns at a bushy park. (prostitution)
  • Thou must feed the dumb glutton. (masturbation)
  • Wind thee ball of yarn. (sex)
  • Care to take a turn among the cabbages? (sex)
  • Thou had a flock of geese flying out of thee backside. (orgasm)
  • Dave’s holy poker is as long as a maypole. (penis)
  • Thou has an Irish toothache for thee. (erection)
  • Can thee try on thou lady’s low toupee? (vagina)
  • Can thou take a trip to Mount Pleasant with thee? (vagina)
  • May me lady join me on a trip to Petticoat Lane? (vagina)
  • Thee bald-headed hermit intrigues me. (vagina)
  • Let’s ride on thee butter boat. (prostitute’s vagina)



On Top of Spaghetti

Do you remember the old nursery rhyme called, “On Top of Spaghetti?”

It goes something like this: “On top of spaghetti all covered with cheese. I lost my poor meatball when somebody sneezed. It rolled under the table…”

I don’t remember the rest of it.

When I was a child of about three, or four, I use to cry every time I heard that song. I guess I must have been a sensitive kid.


Thoughts Within Shadows

Thoughts within shadows

No beauty in between

Circumstances unforeseen

Thoughts within shadows

What beauty yet be

Fatigued in negativity

Flowers grow in hues of gray

No lifeline to be saved




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